Hope into rain day 9

So today I went to visit the beautiful survivors that are the koalas. They have managed to struggle through bushfires, their mothers’ being hit by a car and one even clung to a car bonnet for about 350 metres as the car was driving!

Just watching Mary, who is blind but oh so happy with her feast of eucalyptus leaves really touched my heart. I thought of Lewis who sadly didn’t make it, but united the world with his story and brought me to this hospital. RIP little Lewis.

Yesterday I was about to swim in the lovely pool at the Port Aloha motel when the delightful Connie said to me that the beach was close by. So I went to gaze in wonder at bleached white sand lapped by azure waves.

I started to ponder on this and realised that we can live our life in the pool when the beach is just in sight. By this I mean: I was prepared to enjoy the pool, when there was an amazing and far better experience just a short walk away.

Due to battling depression over many years, my own emotions have been my focus. Now I am starting to enjoy life rather than engaging with my own pain.

This journey into hope is greatly helping me, because my focus and thoughts are directed towards it. I feel as if I have been given a gift.

One of my biggest prayers while I have been here is for rain. I had literally just left the koala hospital when it started to pour and now I am sheltering under the roof of the Salvation Army building.

So today I am hopeful that rain prayers have been heard. I am hopeful because there is a wonderful hospital for koalas and they are not extinct. I am hopeful that over two million dollars has been raised to keep this hospital going.

Keep swimming in the sea X

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Journey into hope day 5

So, as I shared with you all yesterday I had a battle with hope for the entire day. I still feel sad deep down within me that my travel plans have been disrupted.

Yesterday, I listened to a fascinating pod cast on hope called ‘In our time: Hope (summer repeat on Apple Podcasts). This discusses whether hope is a positive or negative thing, because hope was found in Pandora’s box and this suggests both positive and negative connotations. I have always viewed hope as a positive, but perhaps quite a fleeting thing. Here are some actual definitions:

The feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: to give up hope.a particular instance of this feeling: the hope of winning.

verb (used with object), hoped, hop·ing.

to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.to believe, desire, or trust: I hope that my work will be satisfactory.

verb (used without object), hoped, hop·ing.

to feel that something desired may happen: We hope for an early spring.

So I am looking forward with desire and confidence to visiting the animal sanctuary at Port Macquarie. I have been moved by the plight of the poor Australian wildlife and koalas especially, because they are unable to run from flames. The bushfires have absorbed a lot of my thinking over recent days as has the weather conditions. Living in a situation of potential catastrophe which many of those around me are facing constantly is very sobering. I will never take rain for granted, I will never take my personal safety for granted and I will appreciate those who work in the fire service especially, as they risk their lives to keep mine safe.

Yesterday I went in the pool for the first time, as the temperature was 35 degrees. It was beautiful and I relaxed and swam and enjoyed the cool water lapping against me. I started to make plans for my move when I return to the uK and spoke to a friend, asking for help with my impending move. They were only too willing to offer. Simple things. These are the building blocks of a dy.

I also made some lemonade scones. This for many people, would be an easy thing, but for me as I have shared in a previous post, it was a big deal, because I have battled a fear of failure in regard to cooking. However these were a real success and delicious. They were served with jam and cream-a lovely treat. I got some very positive comments when I put them on view on social media. I am feeling supported by Facebook friends particularly, in my efforts to challenge my fears and withholdings.

So, today my recipe for hope is to take support from friends around you to encourage efforts to change. And also to reach out for help with tasks which one can’t manage. This is mixed with an attitude of gratitude for weather and safety. Keep hopeful everyone X

Recipe for hope day 2

I have always been a reluctant cook. This was started when my first attempt to make a Victoria sponge was marked by laughter because the final product at an angle, rather t flat. A photograph marked the event.

This was coupled with school cookery lessons where no-one ever wanted to be my partner. I dreaded those weeks. I did not know I had dyspraxia which impacts hugely on culinary skills.

So this led to a mindset of ‘cant cook, won’t cook’. I became avoidant and when I invited people around I struggled with my inadequacy in this area. I could never think of what to make and many of my friends are skilled in the kitchen.

So yesterday I was helped to make a quiche. A wonderful lady named Mary patiently talked me through preparing the pastry and putting the ingredients together. She basically held my hand as we did this together.

No it wasn’t perfect. It could have been neater, it could have been better cooked st a slightly lower temperature. However I was really proud of having faced a deeply ingrained fear of failure. And what’s more, I actually enjoyed it. I am going to make a flummery next.

My second learning of 2020 hopefulness, has been the impact of animals on me. I had a really tough 2019 as I know many others have. I longed for some fur therapy. Having come to Sydney, for a break, I have been blessed by beautiful guide dogs and a wonderful little Pomeranian named Honey, who has a gift of escapology; squeezing through any gaps, to come and visit at every opportunity. On one occasion she barked at our door to be let in then eventually, she realised it was pointless, gave a quick bark as if to say ‘ bye’ and padded off.

There is also the truly lovely Oscar who is staying here. He is a stunning rag doll cat with profound blue eyes and creme caramel fur. Last night he landed on my bed and I had to sleep on the other side.

Today’s recipe for hope is to try new challenges and break the mould of self-defining negative thought patterns. It might be a dormant dream, or a label that has been placed upon you that you may wish to smash. It may be hard, but it is worth persevering.

The second hope ingredient is to spend time with animals. They are very therapeutic and show empathy and love. I am not allowed pets in my rented property, but I have been able to enjoy other people’s animals while on holiday. Consider offering to walk someone’s dog or pet sitting. There is a website for this and you can combine it with a holiday.

Thank you for reading. Please send me comments, questions, or ideas.

I hope you are enjoying my site. Have a hopeful week X