The unwanted gift

How many of us remember being bought something that we did not like for Christmas? I have memories of knitted jumpers that were far too small and other presents that were a far cry from the dreams I had and the Christmas list I made.

Recently I have been thinking about how we bless one another. And also how we can hurt one another by giving something that is unwanted. Closure is such an important thing and I think it is so important to allow people the gift of having a good ending. We often focus on beginnings, but a positive ending is vital and preventing this can cause a lot of pain and heartache.

I think making assumptions about what people want or do not want can be toxic. Communication is the key to a good relationship and asking someone what kind of gift or ending they would like is by far the best way in my view. A surprise can be lovely, but it can also backfire.

I don’t wish to sound ungrateful, but I have memories of someone repackaging a gift they later gave me as a present. I knew this was something they didn’t want, It resonated of being second best. I think gifts should be from our heart and speak of our love for one another, not something we were given and want to dispose of.

And what do we do when someone gives us an unwanted gift, or does something for us that they think we would want but is the antithesis of our wishes? My response is to be gracious. Sometimes people act out of pain and there is always a backstory. However, I feel that if someone is behaving in a way that is hurtful and their ‘gift’ reflects that then perhaps it is time to remove oneself from the relationship. A gift is supposed to be a beautiful thing, but sadly can also be a weapon in disguise.

As always, I would welcome your comments. Please feel free to disagree. Wishing you a peaceful and blessed week X


  1. jkaybay says:

    Considering the critical state that our planet is in, I think we should mostly do away with buying new items as gifts. The only exceptions should be if it’s edible (we all need to eat) or something that we know the person needs for sure (not just wants – needs). Otherwise, gifts should be used (e.g., from a thrift store or Ebay). I can enjoy a gift more knowing that it’s not adding to unnecessary consumer spending. So, I agree with you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I co9mpletely agree with you. Perhaps we should have conversations with family about sustainability and ask for no gifts. Edible gifts are fine. I also suggest using recycled packaging because it is a shame to throw it away after one use.


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