I have been having many conversations about parenting recently. I will post more about the research undergirding the concept of parenting that I am exploring, however one concept which I fully endorse is that of the tribe.
Tribal living is essentially about connectedness. It is about things such as: I don’t have a child but I can offer my motherhood heart and gifts in helping you raise your child. It looks like people using their skills and abilities to support others. It involves things like sharing time and space. It is inclusive.
So how does one achieve this? Is it possible in modern day society? I feel that it is possible, but takes commitment and work. Here are some suggestions as to how to build a beautiful tribe:
- Communicate and be crystal clear about expectations and gifts. To explain further: I am not a gifted cook, but I offer skills such as support with childcare and tidying, or helping to empty or fill the dishwasher.
- Be very clear in regard to supporting with childcare what parental boundaries look like. Check out the language you are using with children to ensure you are building on what parents expect.
- Be aware of triggers. Be open to correction, for example; I was using language which mamma felt was not conveying a clear message. I have now changed this.
- Be aware of spending time on your own and giving the family space. Tribal living is supportive, not invasive. It should be like a family, where space and boundaries are respected. To work it needs to be reciprocal but also there needs to be space to breathe.
- It is okay to be sad in the environment and to feel pain and share this. This is being real, However, one needs to learn to regulate one’s own emotions too, so that it is not burdensome upon others.
These are just a few suggestions. I would love to hear your views. I will be posting more about parenting soon.